Not Another Random Fic
by Jigglypuff
Summary: -a collection of stories which all link together-


Not Another Random Fic  
-a collection of random stories which oddly link together-  
~by Jigglypuff~  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
[a|n] Post Rapture owns the Kokiri names, as usual...I seem to use them too much, do I? ^_^ Frappucinos (Mmmm..I was drinking one right when I started this fic) are (c)2002 Starbucks. Thanks to Cerena for an idea of some of the stories. Also, the Author Sages are (c) 2001-2002 Galaxy Girl, but the Author Sages in actuality own themselves. I also do not respect Osama bin Laden in any way. PATRIOTISM FOREVER! (See Ganondorf's Story for details.) On with the show.  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
"Mmmmm," Saria said, as she sipped her iced Vanilla Frappucino.  
Starbucks had found a portal to Hyrule, and decided to bring coffee into the place. The only thing is, they didn't have power, so all they did was drive trucks to the local Kokiri Forest Starbucks and drop off the latest fad amongst the Kokiri- Frappucinos. Saria particularly liked hers iced.  
So, as she was walking around, she met Sodo. He had a milk mustache, or so it seemed.  
"Hey, Sodo. Whazzup?"  
"Well, I thought my coffee was a bit too strong, so I added milk. A bit too much, I guess. Now it's all watery."  
"Don't worry...here ya go," said Saria, giving him a purple rupee.  
"Thanks!", Sodo said, and he went off to buy another.  
Saria laughed a bit, and she said, "I wonder if they know I'm giving them secret tips? Heh heh heh heh.."  
Sodo came back with another Caramel Frappucino, but at that same time...Saria felt a little pang of a sugar rush comeing to her brain.  
"Hi Saria."  
"HI! WHASSUP, SODO?!?!?!"  
"Uh...how hyper are you, Saria?"  
"HYPERHYPERHYPERHYPERHYPERHYPERHYPERHYPER!!!! I'M GOING TO GET ANOTHER ONE QUICK!"  
She ran off. Sodo was laughing, on the ground, not from the moment, but from the next scene walking towards him-  
Saria had another iced Frappucino, this time Hazelnut...and she was running towards him.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!" he cried, and he ran back to his house.  
-----------------------------------------  
"Okay....don't kill Popo, kill Nana....don't kill Popo, kill Nana..."  
He was in a game of Super Smash Brothers Melee, this time playing an Event Match named Ice Breaker. The mission was to kill the two female Ice Climbers, both aptly named Nana.  
And "He" was Young Link.  
Energized from drinking a lot of milk during his ending movie (You play the game, and after the shooting staff credit thing, there's a movie..), Young Link stepped forth. He held a lightsaber in his hand. He timed it very carefully..and WHAM!  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"  
He had defeated the first Nana. Now he had to defeat the second one.  
"OK....focus...focus...damn, can't focus. I know!"  
He took out a bottle of Lon Lon Milk.  
"Mmm."  
A camera took a picture.  
"What was that?"  
He saw a guy, clad in black, witha tripod, camera, and a "Got Milk?" briefcase.  
"SHI*!"  
He ran towards the guy with the briefcase. The guy and the briefcase disappeared.  
"What?" he said.  
"Failure." came the announcer. Young Link had obviously stepped over the boundaries.  
"DAMN!"  
------------------------------  
"How are we going to get all these Bunnies Of Evilness out of the castle, Impa?"  
"I dunno, Zelda. I dunno."  
Impa and Zelda were looking at three hundred yellow bunnies, running around, breaking various things, and even punching on the Triforce. Zelda had tried to say "STOP!" but to no avail, the bunnies kept on ravaging the castle.  
"What the hell should we do?"  
"We should contact Link."  
"He's battling the Ice Climbers again. He's very very furious about the announcer tricking him."  
"Ah. Speaking of battling, I gotta battle Marth in seven minutes."  
"No wonder the Smash Brothers Council decided to not use this as a battle ground. It's perfect!"  
"No, the Triforce is here and they could cheat, right?"  
"Oh yeah..."  
"Okay. Why not call the Sages?"  
"GREAT IDEA!"  
She summoned them.  
Saria, hyper as can be, was drinking yet another Vanilla Frappucino.  
Darunia had a towel on his belly.  
Ruto walked around, shouting, "LIIINK! LINK, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?"  
Impa was already there.  
For Nabooru....see Ruto.  
And Rauru was already dead, because the others assassinated him for his huge anonying noggin.  
"HI ZELDA! SO, WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU?" Saria shrieked.  
"Uh....could you get rid of the bunnies of doom?"  
"NO! I WANNA FINISH MY FRAPPUCINO!" Saria shouted.  
"AND I WANT TO SHOWER IN PEACE!!!" Darunia argued.  
"AND I WANNA FIND LINK!" said Ruto.  
"ME TOO!" said Nabooru.  
"Okay...Good bye."  
They all left. All there was was Zelda and Impa.  
"Why don't we call the Author Sages?"  
"Sure thing."  
Six screens projected on the wall, each showing a familiar author.  
"Hi. Could you type something up so then you could get rid of the Bunnies Of Doom?"  
"Sure," said Chica, and she typed comething up. The bunnies started channeling over to Chica's house.  
Punching noises could be heard. The bunnies eject out of Chica's house. Chica appears, looking bruised and beaten.  
"Ow."  
"Sorry. You are excused."  
The Author Sages closed the link.  
"Crap! Now what?"  
"Should we call Link, ma'am?"  
"Yes! and don't call me ma'am."  
A portal opened. A shout was heard.  
Young Link came in.  
"DAMMIT!" he said. "That's the LAST time I fall for that 'Got Milk' guy."  
"What 'Got Milk' guy?"  
"I...WAS...IN...THE...MIDDLE...OF...A...DAMN.....SUPER SMASH BROTHERS MELEE GAME!"  
"Damn. You can play my game if you want!"  
"NO! I HATE MARTH!"  
"Okay...You can take your anger out on these bunnies."  
"TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MANY! AAAAAAAAAAAGH!"  
He warped back.  
"NOOOOWWWW what do we do?"  
"Er....get a tattoo for each of them?"  
"GREAT IDEA!"  
----------------------------------------------  
"Cool. I respect you, oh mister Osama bin Laden."  
Ganondorf had been reading the newspapers and had his eyes stuck on one dated 9-12 FROM EARTH. As we all know, it takes many days to get news to the people, ever since the Running Men went on strike.  
"You've just given me a great idea. FWAHAHAHAHA!!" he said. "To the Gan-cave! To the Gan-mobile!"  
Ganon had recently finished his replica of the Bat-Cave, while making some few adjustments.   
Now the entrance had a BIG arrow pointing to the door of the Gan-cave.  
Now the cave didn't have a big coin, it had a big rupee.  
Now the cave didn't have a car, it had a all-in-one dimensional teleporter.  
Now the cave didn't have a Batman in it. In its place was Ganondorf.  
Now it wasn't a cave.  
Ganondorf headed over to the teleporter.  
"Time...for suicide."  
He warped.  
-------------------------------  
Back at the bunny horde, the Gan-Mobile popped out of nowhere.  
"AAAAAAAAH! BUNNY!" a muffled voice said.  
The Gan-Mobile disappeared.  
"YAY! The bunnies are gone!"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
If you want me to make a parody of your fic, please email me or review with your fic name. I'll go and read it, then I'll make a parody...Not too long, of course. Or, if you want a cameo, you can review. Thank you!  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


End file.
